Random Homeschool Thoughts

Things I'm learning so far with homeschooling a 1st grader and preschooler.  This list is in no particular order and is not exclusive.

1.  Homeschooling is not as fun if you try to make it look and feel like public school, so just relax.
2.  Getting hugs and kisses before starting a lesson or reading a book always makes things better.
3.  I love learning everything along with my kids, and I have favorite subjects just like they do.
4.  Even though every moment is not perfect, I'm more patient than I thought I was.
5.  I'm having even more fun than I thought I would!  And so are my kids!
6.  Kids are sponges for information and can learn SO much SO quickly.
7.  Having a supportive partner has been an invaluable asset.
8.  My house is a bit messier but I don't seem to care as much because it's just not worth worrying about.
9.  There are many kind and wonderful people who are willing to help support and mentor those who are just starting homeschooling.  I'm in awe and thankful for the wonderful people who have crossed my path so far.
10.  I can still fit "me" time and "girls night out" into my schedule.  It is possible! (see #7)
11.  I love the smell of newly published books and school materials.  (I'm strange, I know)

A Quick Getaway

A getaway?  Yes!!  We were able to sneak away for a couple days, thanks to a sweet blessing from a friend!  We stayed at an adorable cottage on Lake Erie, west of Cleveland.  Can't remember the last time the four of us went somewhere by ourselves.  Nice... just not long enough!  haha :)

It was so windy outside, so we decided to roast hot dogs inside....

and smores, of course!!

Relaxing with Daddy.

There's just something so good about being in a different place than the "norm." 

Good for the soul.

Patterson's Farm

We took a field trip last Friday to Patterson's Fruit Farm in Chesterland, Ohio.  It was so much fun that I thought I'd share some pics :)

We hopped on a trailer pulled by a tractor to go to the family fun area and orchard.

Going for a ride by the corn fields!

We went on a brief tour to take a closer look at the apple trees and learn about them.  We wanted to pick all the apples while listening but we did a pretty good job containing ourselves. 

Most of the trees had a lot of fruit.  This tree was a rare and special exception.  Can you see why?

After our little tour, we enjoyed a yummy, crunchy gala apple, and my 4yo finally got to taste the apple cider she had been talking about for a week!  Delicious!!

Then, it was time for more FUUUUUNNNNN!  The longest slide ever.....

My boo loves her vehicles!

Fun houses and little buildings to play in.

They spent a long time building forts with the hay bales.  Check this one out....

And, last but certainly not least, we stopped by Patterson's market nearby to purchase some of my favorite donuts in the world.   Patterson's Apple Cider donuts.  A yearly tradition.  I would have taken a picture, but the donuts disappeared too quickly.

A day full of wonderful memories!

Feeling Blessed

Life is short.  I've had TONS of little blessings over the past week.  Just a note to say I'm so grateful.  Feeling so loved.  Even with crappy stuff happening like psycho mice trying to haunt my house, there are so many things to be grateful for. 

My favorite moment today -- my 7yo looks at me after a morning of homeschool.  She says, "Mom, this is one of my favorite days."  My heart just melted because it was just an ordinary day.  I love my life.  I love what I'm doing.  Even when it's hard.

Changes.

Big day today.  Emotional day.  Today, my husband announced his resignation from his position at Momentum. It's been months of a long journey and God has confirmed over and over to us that this is the right decision.

The good news is that this decision is due to Matt feeling that the job just isn't the right "fit" for him, nothing else.  We still love Momentum, everyone there and the awesomeness of things happening in Cleveland.  There's no drama going on, no cat fights, no "hidden" reason that we're not telling.  It's not a decision that was made quickly or easily.  Tears, prayers, solitude, & counseling have all been part of our journey.  We love Cleveland and how God is working here, and at this point, we are intending to stay here and at Momentum -- of course, keeping an open mind and heart about what's next.  We feel peaceful and confident that God has something in mind for us.  We are excited to see what's in store... and a bit weepy at facing the end of an "era." ;-/  Thank goodness we're not leaving Momentum.  Don't think I could handle that right now!!  whew!

I'm really proud of my husband.  He has faced a journey requiring MUCH courage.  He has chosen to be vulnerable about things when I know he would prefer not to be.  He has been willing to display and be open about parts of his life in a way that I know many people never would.  He has been listening and working so hard to know what God wants for him.  He is a true inspiration to me & I'm learning so much taking this journey with him. 

And now.... job searching time!

Fireflight-For Those Who Wait

My New Job

Hi friends -  Quick update on my life since my last post.  We started OHVA last Wednesday.  I am in information-overload, but all is going well.  OHVA parents warned me that it would feel overwhelming at first until you get in a groove.  They were right, but at least I had the head's up!  It's more about how to use K12 software, what to click, etc.  I think I've got most things figured out now. 

I am LOVING the curriculum!  Matt & I were stunned to see how much our 1st grader learned in the first week of school.  Wow.  And the best part is, she is enjoying it.  Our 4yo is along for the ride too.  I'm impressed with how much she already knows.  I'm still working through other "fun" things for her to do while I work on more intense things with my oldest.  I'm trying to make sure the 4yo & I have our special time together each day too.  I have always tried to do that one-on-one daily time with both -- even if it's just 10-15 minutes, it makes such a difference.  Having school each day is helping me be consistent with it.

CON - I haven't been assigned a teacher yet, but OHVA has had an huge # of enrollments over the past week.  They are working on overflow at this point.  Hopefully, we'll get our assignment soon and I can get to know our new teacher.

Weeding through information & research, lessons and trying to read other books has filled my time from morning until bedtime.  (There's also been some extra stress with possible lay-offs with Matt's job at Momentum.  But that's a blog for another day.)  I haven't watched TV in weeks.  Actually, I've watched it a couple times.  Specifically, 3 episodes of Friends in the past 3 weeks.

It's a whole new world!  I thought I would be a little sad when we saw the school buses drive by on the first day of school.  Nope -- we were doing a dance-party in the living room with our bedhead hair!  We've already had great adventures and I know there is much more to come.  I'm getting more relaxed, figuring out what works.  And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to veg out in front of the tube in my broken loveseat. ;)  I'd better schedule the chiropractor visit now.

You're Doing What?! - Part III of My Homeschooling Story

Can I confess that I've done more reading the past month than I have over the past year?  There is so much information to absorb in regards to homeschooling.  SO many resources!  I should consider it a blessing considering overflowing resources was not the case even 15-20 years ago.  But it is also very overwhelming.

I hear about recommended books and I go straight to the library website and put them on request.  I'm reading them as they come in.  It's been great.  Even if I don't homeschool forever, I am definitely enhancing my knowledge about parenting, my kids and ME.

But to sum it up, here is where I've landed for this school year.  My first grader will be using the Ohio Virtual Academy. It's an online charter (state-funded) school.  We are assigned a teacher who will provided assistance and direction when needed; however, I am responsible for her day-to-day learning of course!  As a 1st grader, my daughter will work about 20% online.  She will still take state-assessment tests at the end of the year.  All supplies & curriculum are included and sent to our home for free. (Free, although I've paid for it with taxes.  At least I'm getting my money's worth this year.)  A computer, printer, all school workbooks, literature, paints/brushes, music/instruments, science project stuff and more -- all packed up and shipped directly to us.  We received our "goodies" last week.  It seriously felt like Christmas!  All four Catons had so much fun opening the boxes.  So far, everything is well organized and easy to figure out.

It is different in several ways from traditional homeschooling.  It's very structured and I have to keep track of attendance & times working on subjects.  I think that will be the most tedious part that I'll have to get used to. She will be required to log an estimated 25 hours per week, along with anything else I want to supplement.  So, it's more flexible than public school but not as flexible as my own curriculum & our own timing.

We feel OHVA is a great start and a good fit for us this year.  I feel more sane knowing the curriculum is already set up and lessons are ready to go.  I like having the structure, especially as a newbie.  It's an appropriate time in our lives for the curriculum to be free.  It will allow my daughter to go at her own pace and have access to great learning tools.  I've heard wonderful things about the program from other families.


I'm open to other options in the future.  My youngest one will still be attending pre-school this fall.  Again my motto right now:  One year at a time.  One child at a time.


I'll keep you posted on our progress.  Thanks for tagging along on my journey!

You're Doing What?! - Part II of My Homeschooling Story

Has the shock worn off from my first homeschooling post yet?  You're not the only one.  My close friends and family were quite surprised when I told them the news.  I was thinking about going back to "outside work" this fall, for crying out loud!  I told you it was out of left field.  But my peeps are very supportive,  and even if they think I'm crazy... they still love me.  :)

Why should the Catons consider homeschooling?  Here are my conclusions (not an exhaustive list & not in any particular order):

1- A Tailor-Made Education.  This point could be a blog on it's own, but bottom line -- I know my children will blossom with one-on-one education at their own pace & with their own learning style.

2- Flexibility.  My family does not work a typical Monday-Friday, 9-5 shift.  My husband works weekends and has a day off during the week.  There may be times where I need to travel due to extended family health issues.  And then there's that darn snow in the wintertime.  Late nights.  The pros for flexibility go on and on!!

3- Transferring Our Family Values & Building Character.  Moral character is something I want to invest in my children, even more than any sport or academic program out there.  I know it sounds so general and "ideal" but honestly... it is one of the biggest pros.  Homeschooling allows me to have that extra time to nurture, develop and help my kids grow -- just like I have been doing for the past seven years! 

I have been learning all about the disadvantages as well.   It will be a lot of hard work.  It will be a lot of hard work for ME.  And then, there are the unrealistic expectations.  It will not always look pretty.  There will be bad days.  From what I hear, I will see many of my own character flaws.  My kids may not have a "typical" education like most kids, sitting in a classroom with 25+ kids their age -- therefore, their experiences will be different. (not a bad thing in my mind, just dealing with the differences)

The socialization question comes up constantly.  Have you seen the Caton's social calendar?  Let's just say I'm not concerned.  I'm aware it's important for my kids to interact with other kids their age, and to have friends.  They will, don't worry.  In fact, I have to guard OVERsocializing my family all the time or we run ourselves into the ground.

I've talked to many people who sit on both sides of homeschooling.  I've listened.  I've learned.  It's been real.  I've met incredible people -- strangers who were willing to have coffee with me and tell me their stories.  Students, parents, teachers.  I am still overwhelmed by the love and passion all these people have for children and their families. 

I still feel the positives still outweigh the negatives.  I'm also thankful my decision not based on fear or guilt.  That would be scary.

So, I'm giving it a try.  One year at a time.  One child at a time.  I'm still laughing about all of this.  And I'm scared of the unknown.  We could be back at public school next year for all I know.  But there is NO DOUBT in my mind that I'm supposed to try this. 

Where do we go from here?  What will homeschooling look like for us?  There's about 15 million different ways to approach it.  I've got a plan, thank goodness.  School starts in less than two weeks!

TO BE CONTINUED....

You're Doing What?! - Part I of My Homeschooling Story

I laugh as I type this.  You couldn't have told me 6 months ago that I would be writing this blog about this topic.  Homeschooling.

"You're doing what?!"  "Wow, Amy, that's... interesting." "I don't have the patience for that.  Good luck!"  I've heard this a lot in the past month, as well as much encouragement.  Thanks, friends!  Yes, it's true, I am entering a brand new world.  I promised to blog about how this all came about.  So here I am.

I have friends who homeschool.  (Mostly people who live out of town, actually.)  I've seen some bad results with homeschooling here and there, but overall, my friends and acquaintances have had great success with homeschooling.  When I think back to conversations with these friends, I remember either thinking or saying, "Wow, that's great.  I totally get why you are doing this.  Maybe I can convince you to homeschool my children?  I can drop them off in the morning at your home & pick them up in the afternoon.  Seriously." :)

Fast forward to 2010 -- homeschooling started entering my brain as a possibility in the future.  Even the thought of homeschooling being a possibility to me is so out of left field.  What in the world??  I've had a great experience with our elementary school in the public school system so far.  I am a big cheerleader for our teachers, school administrations, and others working hard to better our communities.  So the big question... why do this??

I don't know what made me start investigating more about homeschooling besides a nudge from the Holy (God's) Spirit.  (You may not believe in that, but that's really the truth for me!)  A conversation here, a story about someone, a curriculum I heard about, a blog I read and so on.  No one was trying to convince me.  It just all started adding up. 

By mid-July, I gave it up.  I was out with a friend at Starbucks and we were talking about it.  She doesn't even homeschool, but we were just discussing it.  I came home that evening and decided to tell Matt what I was thinking about.  I wasn't sure what his reaction would be.  We've had plenty of conversations over our 9 years of marriage where we've, ahem... we've made fun of homeschooling.  What was he going to say?

It was 10:30pm.  "Matt, I need to tell you something.... (pause)  I'm thinking we maybe... might... think about homeschooling."  He smiled.  He always smiles, so that doesn't give me any indicators.  After about five minutes of asking me more questions -- yes, it took me that long to get it out of him -- he confessed.  "Amy, I've been feeling the same thing for awhile now, but there was no way I was going to bring it up."  WHAT??!!  We have NEVER even talked about homeschooling in the past couple years.  He told me that he prayed that God would tell me... because there is no way he (Matt) was going to bring it up to me.  He knows I'm stubborn - haha

We both stood and looked at each other, AMAZED.

OK, now I'm really going to have to investigate.  What will homeschooling really look like in the Caton house?  What are the pros/cons?  Thus, I have begun a wonderful journey of exploring a whole new world -- the world of homeschooling.

To be continued....

Hillsong United - King of all days (Tear Down the Walls)

Through a Little Girl's Eyes...

I had the opportunity to take my six-year-old daughter on a date last week.  I've seen her developing a love for art, so I decided we would go to the Cleveland Museum of Art.

My daughter's big blue eyes grew even wider as she entered the building for the first time.  "Where do we go first, Mom?"  We started with some American landscapes.  She was immediately enthralled.  "How do they make it look so real?" she asks, without really wanting an answer.  We move from room to room -- she's practically gliding.  Her giddiness and amazement at seeing these things for the first time catches me off guard.  I love when I get a small glimpse of what it must be like to look through a little girl's eyes.

We spent quite a bit of time looking at all the exhibits, including my favorite Monet pieces.  Before we left, she said, "Mom, can we please go look at that one again?"  It was a picture of a lady, The Young Eastern Woman, to be exact.  My daughter just stood there and studied it.  "Mom, I really like this one." Precious.

To top off the day, we stopped by an Italian bakery in Little Italy.  Need I say more?  What a wonderful day.

Be Still.

My mind is overloaded with information and lots of thoughts.  Some thoughts are very introspective and deep.  Other thoughts include how I wish I was downtown to help rip down the LeBron sign.  AND how we need to replace it with a Betty White poster.  Actually, I'd say that qualifies as a deep thought too. 

Anyway, I've been trying to work through some life stuff lately and I want to hear from God.  I want to listen.  So how do you do that? 

I heard a verse from the Bible on Sunday night - Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God."  I've heard that one many times, but this time it struck me... am I being still?  Even when I have some "downtime," I am still filling my brain with useless information.  Let's get real here.. usually Facebook information!  It's embarrassing how much time I spend on my cute little mobile device.  Five minutes here.. ten minutes there... 100 minutes later.... ouch.  Can anyone relate? 

I love Facebook and keeping in touch with people.  People's statuses make me laugh out loud at times!  (What can I say, I have witty and clever friends.)  However, I have read that social networking can add extra stress and anxiety to a person's life.  I can see that happening in my life, can you?

So that's my step this week.  Detox from social networking for awhile.  Yesterday was my first attempt. I loved it.  I'm going to keep going.  Not sure when I'm going to stop.  But I do know it's been an awesome new step in a process to "be still and know that He is God."

PS - If you are on Facebook today, please join the FB group that is rooting for Betty White to be the next oversized poster in Cleveland! ;-)  (I told you I'm in detox...)

John Tesh Convinced Me.

We thought about moving our TV downstairs to free up our living space in our main room.  I noticed the girls and I were watching a lot of TV lately.  So we finally took the plunge and moved the heavy armoire that holds our TV down to the basement several weeks ago.

I confess it has taken me awhile to adjust.  After all, my comfortable furniture is upstairs, not in the basement.  If I sit on the only {broken} loveseat downstairs for more than 10 minutes, I have to schedule an appointment to the chiropractor for the next day.  (not kidding!)  There is no money in the budget for new furniture.  Let's just say that I sat in my preschooler's small recliner for the LOST finale!!  The mini-recliner is actually very comfortable until I have to get my hips OUT of the seat.  Ahem...

So this "less TV" stuff is nothing new for me.  About six years ago, we went without TV for about 9 months.  I know it's good for our family.  Good for me.  We have seasons of watching more and less TV.  But I miss it being right there.  Badly at times.  So much so that I will sit on that broken loveseat in the basement even if it kills me.

So Matt and I were driving home the other night and we heard something startling on the John Tesh radio show. (I know... insert your John Tesh joke here) LOL -- but he really does have intelligence for your life.  ;)  All I can say is that it helped convinced me of my choice.  I'm not even giving up TV entirely, for crying out loud!! I'm simply moving it out of my main living space.  Plus, my living room looks SO much more like a living room now!

Here's the article from Mr. Tesh.  I'd love to hear what you think -- leave a comment!  I have a feeling he's going to bring up computers, iPhones and iPods next.  Uh oh.

Don't Watch Too Much Television

Here are some chilling statistics:

• By age 75, most of us will have spent more than twelve-and-a-half years watching television! That’s more time than we’ll spend shopping, socializing, going to the library, and going to church combined!
• Most children spend more time watching television than they spend in school! In fact, by the time they’re six, the average child has logged more than a year of TV.

Dr. Aric Sigman has studied the affect TV has on our lives, and wrote the book Remotely Controlled: How Television Is Damaging Our Lives. Here’s why he says you should be running to pull the plug!

• TV damages the brain. In a study done at the University of Washington, scientists found that the more television a toddler watched, the more likely they were to be diagnosed with ADD. A study of adults showed that watching television increases the risk of developing Alzheimer’s.
• TV hurts your health. Researchers from the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute found that watching TV actually lowers our metabolism. How much? Well, people who watch TV burn 200 fewernothing! TV changes brain chemistry in a way that weakens the immune system and makes us more vulnerable to cancer. calories a day than people who sit doing
• TV affects our behavior. Several studies show that watching onscreen drinking and smoking increases those behaviors in both teens and adults. That’s the least of it. When Sigman looked at developing cultures that just recently began watching TV, he found that crime went up when cable went in. In fact, one small country didn’t need a police force or a jail before they got TV.

Want to learn more? Check out Remotely Controlled: How Television Is Damaging Our Lives by Aric Sigman

Psalm 121 from the Bible

Sometimes, I just need to hear this chapter in the book of Psalm in the Bible.  I hope you can let these words pour over you.  God doesn't have to, but He cares about every moment of each of our lives.  He doesn't even have to take a break to sleep.  Did you know you are that important to Him?  It's hard for me to fathom at times.

Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills--
Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,
The maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip --
he who watches over you will not slumber;

Indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you--
The Lord is your shade at your right hand;

The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm--
He will watch over your life;

The Lord will watch your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

I'm Gonna Make a Change... It's Gonna Feel Real Good! (Jam On...)

My photo above is a beautiful day in Harpers Ferry, WV last year.  We picnicked beside the river under the shade of the trees.  Matt and the girls waded their feet in the cool water.  The girls thought it was the best thing ever!  Oh, and the geese wanted a part of the action...

With Earth Day this week, I was thinking about "eco-friendly" changes our family has made over the past 1-3 years.  One of my biggest concerns is how much nasty toxic waste is sitting in our landfills and will continue to do so through my children's lives.  I don't care if you believe in "global warming" or not, there are certainly things that we can do INDIVIDUALLY to help the health of our environment NOW.  Especially as Americans. 

This post is NOT to pat me on the back.  The changes I've made are not huge, revolutionary things. You will most likely being saying "duh" through this whole blog.  But I write this because little changes add up!  I know many of you have also made efforts to be more "green" and most likely, you do a better job than I do.  The Catons have further to go.  But I am reflecting today on what we have changed so far:

1.  Reduce our waste.  I've noticed how much garbage we take to the curb each week.  We used to fill at least two garbage cans plus some.  Now we're usually down to one.  (probably due to items 2 through 7!)

2.  Recycle more.  Our city recycles aluminum, plastic, glass and cardboard.  I've always recycled cans and plastic/glass containers, but I never really paid attention to cardboard.  Over the past year, I am AMAZED at how much of my garbage is cardboard boxes/containers that can be recycled.  (cereal boxes, snack/candy/cracker boxes, pizza boxes, etc)  Now that we recycle cardboard, I estimate that I am recycling about 50% of our garbage.  (they say you should be able to do 75% recycled... still working on that!)

3.  Trying not to buy non-recyclable items.  I have a lot of work to do in this area.  I'm not even close yet.  However, I do know a way I can make a fairly easy change.  Parents, I know you can relate when I say there are so many cheap, plastic toys that somehow accumulate in our house.  And of course, they usually break the first day we get them.  I am now intentionally NOT purchasing those items. 

Cool note:  I just found out about an organization in Cincinnati that collects broken dolls, action figures and other plastic toys.  Kids invent new toys from the broken ones.  You have to pay to ship it there but I love the idea (for more info, see - http://www.happeninc.com/recycle).  **If you know of other ways to recycle broken toys, please comment!**

And we can't forget Craigslist, garage sales or simply donating unused items that would otherwise just sit in a landfill.  I have been a grateful recipient of unwanted items many times.  Your junk is someone else's treasure!

4.  Deal with my plastic bags!  I figure this topic deserves it's own point.  Yes, I have some reusable bags, and if I remember, I bring them to the grocery store.  (I'm keeping them in the car now so I am more likely to remember.)  I have also started recycling or reusing ALL my plastic bags from stores.  I also noticed that some food items have recyclable bags (duh, you probably know all this, but it took me awhile to figure it out! ha).  My bread bags, bags for produce and some packaged goods can  be recycled.  My local grocery stores and Wal-Mart have a bin where I can recycle them.  It is RIDICULOUS how many plastic bags come through my home within a month's time.  I am SO glad to recycle them or reuse them!!

5. Eliminate waste at our "Mo group."  I have a small community group that meets at my house each week.  Including children, we have about 15-20 people eating dinner.  We have chosen to eliminate disposable eating utensils.  We use "real" mugs for coffee.  We don't use water bottles.  Sometimes we use real plates or glasses, but I'm working toward making it a regular occurrence.

6. Using natural cleaners.  Vinegar is my new best friend!!  See www.vinegartips.com for some great ideas.  I don't choke and wheeze compared to using my other cleaners.  It's awesome!  I've also been using different dish detergent and laundry detergents -- ones that are fragrance-free, free of phosphates and non-toxic.  So far, I've had great experiences with Seventh Generation dish and laundry soap as well as Martha Stewart laundry detergent.  I'm sure there are other great products out there.

7.  Packing lunches/snacks in reusable containers.  Less plastic sandwich bags and waste.

So these are just some ideas -- I'd love to hear what you are doing or changes you have made.  I've definitely got more goals in mind and maybe you can help me with that.  Enjoy your weekend, friends!

Parenting: A Deer Staring into the Headlights -- PART 2

Something else I'm learning in my "parenting life" is to allow my partner to be involved.  The word “allow” may sound demeaning.  After all, he IS their father!  But let’s be honest, moms, life gets hectic, insanely busy and it’s much easier to make all the decisions ourselves, especially if we are the primary caregiver. 

I feel so fortunate that my husband is pro-active with the girls.   We talk about why we do things.  We view this whole parenting as a “team effort.” He reads parenting books with me, sometimes before me!

I am the primary caregiver, so when it comes to making parenting decisions, let's be real here -- I do have the option to shut him out.  I’m sure I have done so on various occasions.  However, I feel it is SO important to be intentional about letting him be involved with parenting decisions.  I can testify from first-hand experience that this takes some pride swallowing. OUCH!  Over the years, he has brought up certain issues about how we (ahem, sometimes ME) were doing things (in a loving way, of course. Thank goodness he’s not a dictator!) and doggone it – he is usually right.  Rrrgh.  LOL

I can’t even imagine what my parenting would look like without my husband.  He backs me up when I’m ready to give up.  He has taught my daughters things that I never thought of.  They are learning and developing his STRENGTHS because I give him a chance to be involved.  Strengths like communication skills, spiritual concepts, organization and love for people.  He allows them to take risks that might be out of my comfort zone and sometimes he expects more from them than I do.  Me: "You just told her to go poopy on the potty and she did it??"  And, wow, my girls have grown and matured leaps and bounds because of him!

Parenting is a tough, beautiful life experience, isn't it?  And I still feel like a newbie, even though it's already been almost seven years.  I’m sure you realize that every day is not full of rainbows and sunshine at the Caton house, and I certainly don’t have it all together.  (Do I need to tell some stories?!  Aaaagh) Anyway, my main goal for now is to NOT look like a deer in the headlights.  At least not on a daily basis! 

And since I’m on my soapbox:  No matter what parenting style you go with – let’s be gracious with each other and not so critical of other parents.  Let’s be open to ideas to better our families, even when it means swallowing our pride.  (I’m talking to myself here too, btw)  Our children deserve the best.

Parenting: A Deer Staring into the Headlights -- PART 1

It was a thrilling time in my life. 

I found out that I was expecting my first child, and eventually I learned it was a baby girl! The time of arrival was soon approaching. So much anticipation about all the wonderful upcoming changes in my life!

During the last months of my pregnancy, I consistently had dreams about what my baby looked like once she was here. Sometimes she had blue eyes. Sometimes brown eyes. In one dream, she looked like a 1-year-old right after being delivered. In all my dreams, she was always bald and chubby. Well, except for that repetitive anxiety dream when I delivered frogs instead of a baby. (I still have that dream. Please don’t analyze me, at least not in front of my face. ha)  FYI- When my daughter was born, she was long, skinny with a head full of dark hair!

I remember meeting with a friend/former co-worker for lunch during one of those last months of pregnancy. She had recently had a baby and we were talking “shop” about babies. Then she threw me for a loop. She innocently asked, “So, what parenting style are you going to use?” I’m sure I must have looked at her like a deer staring into headlights. “What? Uh… Err… Huh?” I stuttered, “Uh, maybe common sense?”

She proceeded to fill me in on various parenting books and styles. By the way, she was  not condemning or trying to “convert” me to a style. But she did make me think about a whole new world of “parenting thought” I never knew existed!

I consider myself a pretty laid-back, practical person. And that’s how I envisioned myself as a parent. But my friend did get me thinking. I started reading and simply paying attention a little more. I watched some of my mommy friends and how they handled things. I liked a lot of what I saw. 

I learned quickly that parenting is a very sticky, sensitive topic for many people.  No one wants to be told how to raise his or her own family.  It’s almost like talking about money! 

I settled in on a book called “Babywise” by Dr. Ezzo.  I loved how his ideas matched up and built upon the practical philosophy I already had envisioned.  I soon got hooked on his series -- Babywise II, ToddlerWise, Childwise, and it keeps going but I haven’t read that far yet!  I cannot rave enough about how this book series helped Matt and I as parents!!!  I got so many practical ideas about how to handle every day life with my child.  I also learned that I needed to know WHY I was doing things, not just doing things as a parent.  I love Dr. Ezzo’s ideas on how parents can create an atmosphere of love, respect and family wholeness.  I learned (and am still learning) how to do things to encourage my child to respect herself, respect others and become a healthy, happy, independent person.  

SIDE NOTE to those who are continuing to read after the last paragraph – I eventually found out that some people HATE “Babywise” series for various reasons such as schedules, structure, perhaps lack of comfort to the child, and other things.  And my two cents is – you can still comfort your child & have a flexible life as a Babywiser.  It’s been awesome resource to help Matt & I.  Don’t worry, I’ll still love you if you be hatin’ Ezzo-- seriously!  There are so many great parenting resources out there.   My point is how wonderful it is to have a plan and a purpose for what I’m doing with my children on a daily basis.  It definitely helps keep me sane (mostly) and consistent.  Another way to be pro-active instead of re-active.  Gotta love this adventure!

Eyeglasses. Sigh...

I need some serious help sometimes.

The latest event in my life is eyeglasses shopping. Maybe I should start this story by rewinding to 4 years ago. I needed a pair of glasses so I went through the usual routine of scheduling an eye exam, getting a new prescription and ordering new eyeglasses. Now, I’m certainly not a fashionista by any means… but as I tried on different pairs of glasses, I felt I knew what looked good and what did not. So I finally found on a pair that were not over-the-top trendy but were a good and sensible pair of black/silver metal frames. As I looked in the mirror while trying them on, I felt that “Yes, this is the pair!! I think I might even look smart…” I made my last supermodel pose in the mirror with the glasses (you have to crinkle your eyebrows and pucker the lips!) then walked up confidently to the counter and made my order.

A week went by. I received a call that my glasses had arrived. Finally, I would have a good pair of glasses so I could take a break from my contacts once in awhile! I picked up the glasses and brought them home. I was excited to show off my new purchase to my ever-loving husband. After all, he had been listening to my whining for several months about how I needed a new pair of glasses.

So I put on the new glasses and “TA-DAA! What do you think, honey?” My husband had a confused look on his face. He stared at me. He stared at my glasses. He finally said, “Wait, what glasses are you wearing? Are those MY glasses?” I started laughing. Surely, he must be joking. My ever-loving husband went and got his glasses from the bedroom so we could compare. Oh. My. Goodness. My glasses looked EXACTLY like my husband’s pair. Seriously??!! If you know my husband, you’re mostly likely laughing right now. He really did think I was wearing his glasses. I was so deflated. I looked in the mirror again and I did not look feminine, cute or smart. I hated my new glasses.

Well, you’d think the end of that story would be that I returned the glasses and got a new pair. Nope, I kept them. (Don’t worry, that was four years ago before I figured out that you CAN return items to the store. LOL)

So here I am in 2010… looking for a new pair of eyeglasses. I haven’t done a lot of shopping yet, but I did browse a little last week. I had my 4yo and 6yo daughters with me. They thought it was so fun to pick out frames for me to try on. There were a few pairs that I thought might look good. Nope. Nope. And nope. Then I saw them. It was the pair. Yes!! I tried them on and looked in the mirror. Immediately as I saw my reflection, I screamed loudly. I didn’t see myself in the mirror, I saw Sarah Palin wearing my clothes and standing with my girls. HEEEEELLLLLPPPP! She's beautiful but that's not the look I'm going for. I grabbed the girls and we ran out of the store immediately.

Lesson learned: I need some serious help and support with eyeglasses shopping. Sigh.

Enthralled

My daughters and I were browsing through a bookstore last week. It was the first time I had been in a Christian bookstore in almost 3 years. I'm an online shopper and truth be told, I tend to avoid purses, earrings or anything else with "fish" symbols. LOL

I was amused at my daughters' reactions to all the different children books and materials. They were so excited. My 6-year-old found a beautifully illustrated children's Bible. She plopped herself down in a comfy chair and was enthralled with each page for at least 20 minutes until I made her get up to leave. How precious!

I want to be like that. I want to be enthralled with God's words. I've mentioned before that I'm working through a Beth Moore study called "Stepping Up." It has been an absolute thrill to study God's word and dig into the details. This week I learned about the meaning of some specific Jewish festivals from long ago and then why Jesus would say something very powerful at a specific moment in time at these festivals. Oh, it is all connected so perfectly and beautifully. I'm learning more and more how He loves to cover the tiniest details.

The story of God's love for people is absolute perfection. There simply is nothing else like it.

Reading the Bible can seem very overwhelming. If you don't know where to start, ask someone who might know. I suggest starting with the book of Luke, which details the life of Jesus and how/why he is even relevant to God. Every Bible has a table of contents in the front and you can look up "Luke" and find the page number. You can also look it up on websites like www.biblegateway.com and read it there.

Some of you may not care about any of this -- that's OK. I'm not writing about the Bible to shove it down your throat. I just can't help but be excited about it. But I really hope you don't let things like questions/doubts about God or even the distastefulness of "Christian people" you might know prevent you from investigating the most intriguing story of all time.

I can't wait until the next time I can plop down in a comfy chair and be enthralled again. (I think I'll throw a chai tea in that mix too.)

Autopilot

Have you ever had one of those days where you know you were on “autopilot” mode? Maybe you don’t even remember driving home from work today. I’ve been there!

I’ve defined my autopilot days as “days where I did the bare minimum of what needed to get done… just to get by… just to make it through the day. Blah and don’t bother me.” (*Official ACaton dictionary, circa 2010). Maybe you’re on autopilot right now, and you’re just veggin’ in front of the computer to relax and you have no idea who I am or how you got on this page. Aaagggh. Sorry about your luck. Oh, I can SOOO relate. As humans, I believe we are definitely entitled to our autopilot days… mmm, hmmm, preach it!

I find myself doing the bare minimum at various times. Why? Maybe it's crazy circumstances I can’t control, extremes amount of stress, and sometimes simply because of what’s going on in my thoughts—having nothing to do with what’s going on around me. For example: last year about this time, I started the beginning of a big rough patch in life due to external stressful factors as well as “internal” stuff (aka my crazy brain! ha). I went on autopilot mode in daily life – not just for a couple of days but for an extended period of time. Have you been there?

So after the rough patch subsided, things got better… nice vague story, Amy. Well, my whole point is that I had developed some habits during that time. I wasn’t walking around being a HORRIBLE person (hopefully not-eeek!), but unfortunately, I had developed some “autopilot” habits over the course of several months. Little habits that aren’t really a big deal until you start adding them up. I look back and see certain things that really did affect daily life like my parenting and marriage, and let me tell you -- I’m not proud of it. Habits like poor time priorities, more selfishness and quite honestly, more laziness had somehow crept into my daily routine!

I’m not sharing this to have a pity party. I write this because I know some of you can relate, even if you aren’t going through a dark, low time. It’s hard to break habits!

So what have I been doing since all that junk happened?? Well, I decided to start to attempt to be more proactive and not reactive with a few areas of my life that were very important to me.

I wanted to get out of survival mode.

Let’s take parenting, for example. I started brainstorming ideas on how to be a better mom. (And um, yes, that can be humbling!) I used to do that more often, but it had been a long time! I began talking more again to experienced moms whom I want to be like, and I started reading more. It was very motivating! Another example: spirituality. Even though I had been praying a lot through a rough time, I had not been investing much time and energy into connecting and learning about God on a regular basis. I decided to do a 10-week intense and wonderful study about Jesus with some women with whom I could confide. This study was a great jump-start to help get me into a daily routine of talking and LOVING to read and learn about who God says He is.

And wow, when I feel like I’m in a rut… it’s so fun to try something new, isn’t it? There’s something so fresh and reviving about doing new and different things--things out of the ordinary, daily grind.

So I’m thinking… what if we turned off the autopilot switch and got out of survival mode? What are some areas we can be proactive and get out of our rut? Here are a few ideas, just scratching the surface. They may or may not apply, but it's fun to brainstorm!

-Take a loved one or a new friend out to lunch or coffee.
-Help a single parent or young family by bringing them dinner or babysitting for a few hours this weekend.
-Change up whom you go out to lunch with at work one day this week. Or actually take a lunch break at work one day this week.
-Start looking for a mentor, someone doing something well in an area you would like to grow.
-Give your spouse a massage with no expectations or strings attached (even if they’ve been acting like a jerk – probably means he/she REALLY needs a massage! ha).
-Go to bed 30 minutes earlier than usual.
-Try something new. Who cares if you stink at it?
-Go out to a movie or a coffee shop by yourself for some much needed alone time.
-Go on a date with your spouse every other week for a while. (It’s SOO worth it, for crying out loud!)
-Spend a full hour goofing off at home with your child with no phones, TVs or laptops (or iPod Touch in my case, ahem!). Now that it’s almost spring, we can go outside again, yay!
-Take a new step to investigate who/what God really is.
-Go to a place in your town or city that you’ve never visited.
-Take your child on a date and go somewhere new. If you have more than one, go out with one at a time.
-Join a new exercise class.

And the list goes on… and on… and on… And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go see the movie, Avatar, this afternoon. All by myself.

I would love to know -- what do you do to get out of autopilot mode?

Excuse Me, I Have a Complaint!

Sometimes I like to complain. Is anyone else with me? Try living in Cleveland in late February/early March, and you’ll hear some complaining about the weather – mostly from Amy Caton.

So, I have been trying a new experiment. I’m intentionally taking my complaints to God. If you believe in God and/or a follower of Jesus, you may be thinking that this concept is a no-brainer. Of course we should take our worries and complaints to God, duh!! In my case, I started to take inventory of the latest and greatest “complaints” I’ve had. Wow. It was a bit humiliating. I had done a LOT of talking. Talking to Matt. Talking to my best friends. Talking to my family. Talking to acquaintances. Talking to random strangers. (I talked to a lady I thought I knew in Starbucks today for 2-3 minutes until she kindly revealed that she had NO CLUE who I was. Yeah, embarrassing…) And yes, I have talked to God. But not nearly in the quantity or quality as my conversations with other people.

Now, my point is NOT that we should never share our problems, concerns or worries with those who are close to us. Friendship is a wonderful thing. But for me, I wasn’t even CLOSE to even giving my burdens up to God. Right now, I am working through a Beth Moore 6-week study/workbook called “Stepping Up” and it has been a great challenge for me (it’s what spurred on my complaint experiment). One thing she asks me to do is to go “face down” every day when talking to God. Yes, that means literally putting your face on the floor. It is quite an experience. I know for me, it’s been completely eye opening. I have no choice but to have a direct conversation with God. My distractions are mostly eliminated (besides the blood rushing to my head-ha) and I’m positioned in a way that is about as humble as it gets. There’s much more I could say about this, but maybe you should try it for yourself and see what you think! Anyway, it has been so cool to try a “new” way to talk to God. If you do believe in God, what ways do you talk to Him? Some people journal, type it out, think silently, and more. I’ve learned that speaking out loud and writing work well for me because my thoughts get scattered very easily.

King David of Israel (a very artistic guy who had an extremely close relationship with God) wrote in Psalm 142:1-2 in the Bible,

“I cry aloud to the Lord;

I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.

I pour out my complaint before him;

before him I tell my trouble.”

Friends, He does hear us, and even better than that -- He WANTS to hear us! It blows my mind that an all-powerful God wants to hear my nitty-gritty, ridiculous details.

So God has asked me to talk to Him about all my junk. That’s so cool. And on the side this month, I’ve been calculating the benefits of my experiment to complain less to my peeps and more to my God. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

1- My husband will not take on unnecessary stress trying to figure out how to make me happy.

2- I am MUCH less prone to gossiping (aka SINNING), which leads to hurt feelings, bitterness, negativity and basically everything else I don’t want to happen because of what comes out of my mouth.

3- My joy level goes UP as I am reassured that things are in God’s hands.

4- My friends, family and spouse do not have to feel the need to FIX my problems.

5- My friends, family and spouse will be less likely to suffer through the process of forgiving someone who hurt ME, NOT them.

I’m sure there’s many more, but that’s the start to my list. Hope you are able to take your complaints to God this week. When we tell him our junk, I am 100% positive (thanks to God’s promises we learn about in the Bible) that He will honor us with the “answers” and/or simply the assurance that He will take care of things that we just can’t and shouldn’t control.

You are a Gift!

I have been reminded over and over about something this week -- so much so that I have to write it down to get it out! God has given me a very special gift. My husband, Matthew Caton. Now before you go run to the bathroom to toss your cookies over the sappy, cheesiness of this post, I will also state that I have literally been tossing my cookies in the bathroom this weekend while Matt has been holding down the Caton fort. haha

But seriously, isn't it easy to take those around us for granted? We've all thought about it here and there but I know I take things for granted all the time. Maybe it's my friends, my family, my church, my girls' wonderful school teachers, my neighborhood, my country.

So what am I going to do about it?

Well, for starters, I'm going to go back to some concepts from a small book I call "old faithful" also known as "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. If you haven't heard of it, go to Amazon or your library and get it NOW! The concept of love languages is that we all like to be loved in different ways -- there are five main love languages: quality time, words of encouragement, physical touch, gifts, and acts of service. Stick with me for a second -- we naturally love people in the way that WE want to be loved, but the other person may need to be loved a little differently. You don't have to be married to benefit from this information. In fact, Gary Chapman has a variety of books including love languages for children.

So for me, I know Matt's biggest love language is words of encouragement. Ouch. That does not always come natural for me. But fortunately, I've learned some tips and practiced over the past 10 years. I've gotten a lot better at nixing the sarcastic zingers that run through my head (not perfect, but better!). Sometimes I feel cheesy about saying encouraging things to people -- perhaps they will think I'm being fake or that I have an agenda. I have found this is NOT the case for "encouraging words" people. Saying something true and kind to an "encouraging words" person can give them a HIGH for weeks! (And everyone can use an encouraging word now and then, am I right??)

I have been reminded this week to keep up with encouraging my hubby. My goal is something specific once a week. There are many creative ways to do this, but I won't spoil the surprises in case Matt is reading. :) (email me if you want some ideas)

I love knowing the love languages of my friends, daughters & parents. For instance, my dad -- can we say QUALITY TIME? He could sit around a dining room table and talk/tell stories for hours! My mom is definitely an acts of service lady. She can accomplish whatever she puts her mind to! I love seeing her in her element when she takes on a "hands on" project and completes it successfully. I can show her love by joining her in these tasks or doing something to lighten her workload.

So who is a gift in your life? How can you love them better? Perhaps investigate their love language. As for the Catons, knowing our love languages paid off big time early in our marriage and saved a lot of unnecessary grief & communication problems. (Of course, we are not perfect. I'll confess more of our mess-ups some other time. Or maybe not. ha) I truly believe if we are intentional about loving those around us, it HAS to pay off huge dividends.

You can google "love languages" for a lot more info!
Click www.5lovelanguages.com for more info about the book.
Take a love language test at http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp

Enjoy your week, friends!

What About Me...

As a first-time blogger, I figure I should probably introduce myself. Here are a few tidbits about me:

- I love to laugh. Seriously, I can't control myself sometimes and the "ugly" crying laugh starts... it's embarrassing. Really embarrassing.

- I am the daughter of a preacher man. I love my parents and respect them for allowing me to make my own choices. Plus, we had a lot of fun growing up, even though we didn't have much.

- I am a middle child. Need I say more? I have two sisters, also known as two of my favorite women in the world!

- I love music and love to sing. I sometimes get a chance to sing in a band and I love it! I could sit through any concert and enjoy it. Even a country concert. (but don't tell anyone and please don't buy me tickets to a country music show. Although I could sell the tix on Craigs List...)

- I love to keep up with current events. The downside to this is that sometimes I absorb needless media/celebrity information and it stays with me forever. Yet I can't remember my children's last names at times. (Don't worry, I know who dey baby daddy is)

- I passionately believe that every person should investigate the man known as Jesus Christ, whether they choose to follow him or not.

- I passionately believe that everyone needs to watch the TV series called "Lost." RUN to the library and order your copies of season 1-5 right now. Season 6 starts soon.

- I love living in Cleveland, OH... a hidden gem of Ohio. Come visit if you don't believe me.

- I am married to an amazing man. I'll tell you more about him sometime.

- I have two sweet and silly daughters, my Caton cuties, ages 4 & 6. I also have another Caton cutie I'll meet in heaven someday.

- I'm an introvert by nature. I love my alone time, especially because I don't get much of it. AND I love to have a good time. Invite me to your wedding and I'll dance, baby!!


Thanks for reading and I'll talk to you soon!